This tip is from a deeply personal place.
Recently, my son came home with a heavy heart. A classmate had been outright unkind, including name-calling and other hurtful behaviors. Watching your child navigate something so painful is tough, especially when you’re unsure if the other family is even aware. I decided to talk with the school staff, and I’m thankful we were able to work together on ways to support my son and address the situation. Here’s what I learned, and I hope these insights can be helpful for you too.
1. Understanding the Brain’s Reaction to Bullying
When kids face situations like name-calling, it activates the brain’s amygdala—the “fight-or-flight” center—making them feel anxious, unsafe, and even defensive. By helping our kids express their feelings openly, we calm that immediate stress response, allowing their brain’s “thinking center” (the prefrontal cortex) to take charge. This strengthens their resilience over time, helping them handle future challenges.
2. Teach Assertive Boundaries
Teaching kids to assert themselves with a simple “I don’t like that; please stop” helps them regain a sense of control, which is calming for their nervous system. My son and I practiced this together at home, and while it felt a bit awkward at first, it has helped him find his voice when he needs it most.
3. Model Constructive Responses
Children are wired to mirror our reactions. While I was upset, I knew showing a calm response would help my son learn how to handle these situations maturely. Modeling patience and strength not only supports them now but also helps their brains create healthy pathways for dealing with conflict as they grow.
4. Collaborate with the School
The school staff and I discussed ways to address the behavior in a constructive way to ensure everyone involved feels supported and safe. Schools are our partners, so don’t hesitate to reach out. They can offer guidance and support strategies to make the classroom environment a kinder place.
If you’re going through a similar situation, remember that addressing it with empathy and assertiveness can make a world of difference.
A Question for You When You Handle Bullying:
What’s one thing you would want your child to remember if they were supporting a friend in the same situation? Share your thoughts in the comments - I’d love to hear from you.
Together in this,
Dr. Renea
P.S. If you’re looking for a meaningful way to teach your kids about emotions, kindness, and resilience, check out my award-winning children's book series, The Adventures of Henry the Hedgehog! It's designed to help children understand and navigate their feelings through fun, relatable stories. You can explore the books HERE and please share with friends or family who might find it helpful.
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