With holiday picture season upon us, I thought I’d share a little “real-life” throwback from one of our own attempts at capturing a sweet family photo at home. No professional setup – just me trying to get everyone to sit still for one cute shot. As you can see in the picture below, my son as a baby wasn’t exactly on board. His idea of a “family moment” included a few tears and a whole lot of personality… and my girls were not having it.
So, if you’re picturing cozy family portraits this season, know that a few tearful moments are part of the journey. This week, let’s talk about handling those toddler tantrums, whether they happen during picture time or in the everyday. With a little insight into the science behind these big emotions, you can help guide your child (and yourself) through these stormy moments.
Here’s how:
1. Tantrums Are Not “Bad Behavior”
When toddlers cry, it’s usually because their brains are overwhelmed. Their limbic system (where emotions live) is firing on all cylinders, while the part of the brain that manages impulse control and reasoning (the prefrontal cortex) is still in early development. So during these emotional moments, they’re not trying to be difficult – they just don’t have the tools yet to manage such big feelings on their own.
2. Take It Slow and Breathe
If your toddler’s tantrum is heating up, one of the best ways to help them is to slow down and breathe. As we breathe deeply, we activate our own calming system, which helps us stay regulated – and your calm state actually “speaks” to their nervous system, showing them that everything’s okay. Try breathing slowly and softly saying, “I’m here with you,” or just a simple “We’ll get through this.”
3. Keep Language Simple
When a toddler is upset, less is more. Using simple phrases like “I see you’re upset” or “It’s okay to feel sad” helps to name their emotions. Neuroscience shows that labeling emotions can actually shift brain activity, making it easier to calm down. This is a gentle way to help them understand their feelings without overwhelming them further.
4. Play the Role of “Feelings Detective”
Instead of focusing solely on calming them down, take a moment to observe and wonder out loud. You could say, “Are you feeling tired, hungry, or maybe a little overwhelmed?” This kind of empathy can be soothing, and over time, it helps your child start recognizing their own needs – a skill that strengthens self-regulation as they grow.
5. Reconnect After the Storm
Once the meltdown has passed, take a few moments to reconnect. Whether it’s a hug, a smile, or a quiet “I love you,” these little rituals reassure them that they’re safe and loved, even after a big feeling moment. Plus, this builds trust, making it easier for them to feel secure in expressing their emotions.
The holiday season can be a tricky time for toddlers and parents, but these moments of patience and empathy can make all the difference. Remember, every calm response you give them is helping build their growing brain and emotional toolkit for life.
How Do You Tame Holiday Toddler Tantrums?
Do you have any funny or relatable holiday photo stories of your own in how you tame holiday toddler tantrums? Share them in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you! And… don’t forget to share this blog with those who may need it! 😊
Serving you,
Dr. Renea
Follow me on Henry the Hedgehog’s Facebook page HERE for more tips and tools to navigate parenting with confidence.
For more parenting hacks and tips, follow me on social media HERE and check back each Tuesday for fresh content related to parenting.
Comments